Friday, May 31, 2013

Que Será, Será

So I did get the little plastic dove in my last slice of the gâteau de Pentecôte that we'd bought in Aix-en-Provence, and apparently that means I'll be married within the year. I would take Jean Reno, but he's already married, and he stood me up at the Château de Montmirail the other day anyway, so who needs him. I'm kind of off the whole OKCupid thing that I joined before Valentine's Day (I always focus on the down sides of being single about that time) and don't really have the time or energy to think about relationships. So much to do, after I see Mom and John off on Monday, and while I wish they could stay another three weeks, I've got a paper to finish editing and books to plan out and write and official people to convince of my worthiness and qualifications to stay in the country for another year.

My Aunt Ann, who was my great-aunt really, one of my grandmother McHugh's three older sisters, used to sing to me, "Que Será, Será" mostly. Grandma McHugh used to sing "K-K-K-Katie" and "Yes, We Have No Bananas" and "Last Night on the Back Porch (I Loved Her Best of All)" but Aunt Ann was of a more wistful nature. She never married, but she bought herself a diamond ring, which I have now. There's an old sepia-toned photo of her with Grandma on the beach of Lake Michigan in Chicago perhaps, where she's vamping in a skimpy (for the era) bathing suit. She lived by herself, but never alone, because her nieces (my aunts) and some of my cousins were always stopping by to help with shopping or mow the lawn or just to visit, after she went into an assisted living facility. At least that's what I've heard - I was moving around the country with my family, or in school in Minnesota Oregon Japan. But we kept in touch by letters. She died while I was in Tokyo.

I don't know what I'll be, still. I'm as pretty as I'll get, and the way I spend money I'll never be rich, I imagine, but I am living a rich life, and am looking forward to what comes next. If that's a dove-granted partner, that will be fine - if I live alone, that's what will be. Life is sweet, in any event.
When I was just a little girl
I asked my mother, what will I be?
Will I be pretty? Will I be rich?
Here's what she said to me:

Que Será, Será
Whatever will be, will be
The future's not ours to see
Que Será, Será

- Jay Livingston and Ray Evans (1956)

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